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As a child of the 80s, I grew up with a different kind of communication. For example, we didn’t have wireless communication. We did have a coiling cord that started out at approximately 18 inches. By the time I was a junior in high school, my brother and I had stretched it to a point where it could reach from Kansas City to Tampa Bay.
We were certainly phone-junkies, even back then. We would spend hours on the phone talking to an actual person on the other end. That little skill set has become a dying art. On a recent trip to Mickey D’s, I had an exchange that went something like this to what I thought was a real person on the other end:
Me: “I would like a Filet-O-Fish, apple pie, a large french fry, and a small diet Coke.”
Big plastic sign: “Thank you for choosing McDonald’s. Can I take your order?”
Me: “I just gave you my order.”
Big plastic sign: “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? It sounded like you said you wanted a number four.”
Me: “That’s not what I said at all. In fact, that’s almost the opposite of what I actually said.”
Big plastic sign: “Fantastic! It sounds like you’ve already ordered on our mobile app. Can I get your phone number to confirm your order?”
Me: “I didn’t even know McDonald’s had a mobile app. I’m 52 years old, and I don’t use mobile apps. I still use paper coupons. Can I speak to a real person?”
Big plastic sign: “I’m sorry, we only offer the Shamrock Shake in March.”
Me: “Can I please speak to a real person?”
Big plastic sign: “I’m sorry we stopped serving breakfast at 10:30.”
Me: “Is there anyone in there who might want to give me a hug right now? I’m feeling terribly insecure.”
Big plastic sign: “If everything looks right on the menu, drive on through. Your total is $284. Thank you for choosing McDonald’s. Have a nice day.”
After a good, healthy cry and a quick trip to Taco Bell, I realized the world has changed, and I am just a few steps behind. I also realized how imperative communication is, especially when it comes to recovery. There’s an old saying that our secrets keep us sick.
Throughout my 33 years in addiction, I was a little bit like the big plastic sign. I didn’t really listen, and I only said what I thought the other person wanted to hear. But today, my recovery cannot withstand miscommunication, misinterpretation, and, most of all, silence. I have to be around people who know who I am, know where I’ve been, and know my goals. That recovery community (whether it’s people in recovery themselves or people who love me with boundaries) is my Guiding Light and my support.
We use a tagline, “Addiction takes one, but recovery takes everyone.” That is the truth. The most dangerous place for someone in recovery to be, especially early on, is alone. Whether it’s an online community, the halls of recovery, groups, spiritual support groups, or service teams, YOU CANNOT DO IT ALONE!
”Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is right for him.'" -Genesis 2:18
So go out there and get your community! And remember, I can affect my today, I can allow God to mold my tomorrow, but even Jesus doesn’t change the past.